My health is failing, I can just tell. Sometimes I can only feel her voice, not hear it. Sometimes I have trouble seeing and I keep getting these big things under my skin that need removed.
I’ve had teeth pulled two separate times, and I don’t have many left. I need to eat soft food. I had one of those bumps removed from my mouth. Then the one on my lower front leg started getting bigger and had to have it removed, then the one on my chest got really big. The operation was rough. I think this is when I really knew that I was going to have to leave her soon. They both had to care for me a lot after this. He slept in the living room with me so I couldn’t jump on and off the bed. I had to wear the cone of shame and went back to the vet a few times.
Like all those other lumps, I had one more. It was on my throat. My doctor said we could wait and she could decide what to do. The vet told her it would be dangerous but they were up for a challenge. They decided to wait. And of course it got big quick too. Pretty soon I couldn’t wait to get outside to pee and I would just pee on the floor. Sometimes I don’t even think I realized that I needed to pee or that I had went in the house, that was until I felt her yell my name.
They were both sad and I could tell it was about me. One day, they came home from work and we went for a ride in the car. I was happy, it was warm, the sun was shining and he held me in the front seat on his lap while she drove. I love to ride in the car! We were back at the doctors, they were nicer this time and offered me water – they had never done that before.
The doctor came in the room with us – me, her, him and the girl. She was showing the doctor my neck and how big my lump had gotten. The doctor looked at me and I could feel her dread. She said something to them and I felt the life leave them, almost as much as when grandma left all those years ago. She thought about something the doctor said for a few minutes and then the doctor left the room. She hugged me and stroked my fur, I could tell she was trying to be strong.
As I laid on the table the doctor returned with two needles – I remembered what they were from all of the shots I had over my life. I felt a sharp stick and I tried to fight it…then I felt calm. She was holding me, and she was crying but trying to calm me. Within seconds the room started to fade and I couldn’t see her anymore, then I couldn’t feel her either.
Then there was light, bright and beautiful. I could smell flowers, and heard the sound of a stream. I walked across the bridge and felt young again, I had a spring in my step. I was met at the gate by a man full of light. He was beautiful and even though his mouth didn’t move I could hear his words to me. “Welcome Pepper, we’ve been waiting for you. Someone has missed you a lot.” The gate opened, I walked in and was almost knocked over by GYPSY! She was here, I had found her! I turned to look back to see if she could see Gypsy too, but she wasn’t there and I knew I was a long way from her, and I had an overwhelming desire to go run with Gypsy.